The Grumpy Naturalist

The Rooster Who Was Chicken (final) : by Farriz Mashudi 15/09/2020

We crow a lot, it’s true. At dawn, and even just before, which can be annoying when you have a real alarm clock waiting to go off. And we can go on all day, whenever we feel the need. Like when I’m really stressed; like when Moose is around, I’ll be COCK-A-DODDLE-DOO-ing every 10 minutes. It’s not just to show off, although of course there’s bit of that. It’s only human.
When crows CAW, it sounds as if they’re telling you off, or worse, casting a curse. See, roosters and cockerels like me and Moose, we’re not like that. We don’t bring bad luck. Just LOUD, that’s all. Maybe a bit brash, but otherwise, we’re harmless.
See, these owls don’t hate us. But they have real beef with crows. Just can’t be helped can it, that they’ll kill each other on sight, given half a chance?

Which makes me think — actually, I’m lucky to be alive. No, really. I might just run with that thought. Moose has it in for me same as how the crows and owls can never make peace. And I really don’t want us to go mano a mano anymore.
So, if nobody minds, I’m going to go with ‘Plan B’.
Let Moose crow. He’s won, after all. And I’m a big boy, I’ll get over this.
Even if, Moose and I are hatched from the same eggs.
. . . And come from the same stock, and could end up getting grilled together. Or, being as tough as we are, be boiled for hours in the same soup. Broasted, steamed, fried to a crisp. — It’s no CLUCK-ing matter, at least we die productive!
Till then I just need to find some really hot chicks. A French Hen or two would definitely beat Moose’s lot. And how, could I ever say “No,” to three french hens ? The Crevecoeur, I’ve heard, are real heartbreakers. C’est la vie boys. . . Onwards, if not upwards. Just pray I won’t be needing a ‘Plan C’!

Photo credits from the top: Erik Karits 1, Tim Mossholder, Mark Broadhurst, Jarro, Hu00fcseyin u00d6zen, Erik Karits 2, Karolina Grabowska, Keng Leong Chooi, Alexas Fotos


This is where we leave Hugo. But if like him, you’re interested in the French version, click here: for a francophile’s take on what they represent to some, beyond the plate-able.

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