The Grumpy Naturalist

Brexit In Inverse: 80 second read by Farriz Mashudi 09/01/2021

On the ice we waddle. We dally, we delay, we dawdle. Deliberating. Or call it careful. We’re on thin ice here. One tough call after another. The previous overtaken by the latest, stakes soaring ever higher each time. Makes the issue minuscule now, that had previously been ginormous.

From a lake in Wales.

—We’re sitting ducks, for God’s sake. What do we do, really, except look pretty, us males? Name anyone that actually needs us after the eggs are hatched.

—Existence isn’t for nought.

—How do we serve, then? If not in Peking Ducks with hoisin sauce or à l’orange (call it ‘bigarade’, if you must). It’s all the same. We’re only good for sport, and searing.

—Or to be demi-glaced for stock cubes.

—Oy, whose side are you on? Did you know ‘glace’ — it’s pronounced GLAH-SS by the way, comes from the French word glaze, for ice?

—Seems we’re always back at square one. How’s about if we just swim along. Stay alive. That should be enough. Look at the humans walking around. Catch their two-legged chats. They walk straight, in straight lines round and round, and straight past. Some chuck a bit of bird food, a little bread. Others point a phone.

—Notice how none stay long? They’ve got problems, same as us: BIG, BIGGER, BIGGEST; then LARGE, LARGER still, and …

—Don’t say it.

—We don’t want it to come to that, do we.

—We decide today.

—Why not now?

—I’m wondering if it’s not meant to be. Like the dinosaurs and previous disappearing acts. It’ll make for new breeds, tougher ones, virus resistant ones …

Spretnak The Blog: You Might Wake Up in Luxembourg
… To a lake in Paris. (From Spretnak The Blog)

—With feathers made of metal, that can dive like penguins and hold their breath like submarines and fly north or south or in any direction willy nilly and wherever. You always were such a dreamer.

—Like you’re such a realist.

—I say we go, and quick. The atmosphere here changes so fast. At this rate, next they’ll be vaccinating us.

—You’re right. Let’s do it. Spain’s probably out of the question … Our usual rendezvous, then?

Oui, mandatory masks outdoors too, it’s so much safer. Jardin du Luxembourg, see you there, John!

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